And now, a presentation by Very Very Happy Recent History of International Relations Analogy Theater:
"Hey, Dave, I think I smell gas coming from that house.""Really? I don't."
"Yeah, definitely gas. We need to go in there."
"Dude, that's somebody's house. We can't just break in there. We should call the cops."
"Dave, you pussy! I'm going in! You can screw yourself."
"Okay."
[Smash! Crash! Shatter-tinkle-CRUNCH!]
"Hey, Roger, you okay in there? I'm still not smelling any gas."
"Screw you! It's in here! I'll find it!"
"Okay."
[Time passes. Flames shoot out of front window.]
"Um...Roger? Is that flame from the gas?"
"No. That...um...that was me. Hey! Listen. You have to come in here and help me put this fire out."
"What? Why?"
"It's your duty. I know we had some disagreements in the past, but you must now acknowledge your responsibility for what has happened here, and you must now help in the long and dangerous process of putting out this fire that I started while doing something which you advised me not to do."
"Um...have you found gas in there yet?"
"I'll get back to you on that one."
Genius.
Although personally, I it works better if you change "house" to "jewelry store", and after the line "Screw you! It's in here! I'll find it!", add "maybe it's back here, near this box of diamonds..."
ah, collective passivity: the chosen fragrance of the bourgeois... they wear it so well but wonder aloud why their scent mixed with the "successful" stench of money coated with the blood of the innocent doesn't attract or is conducive to a life of bliss. they are freakin tiresome, just totally draining.
Posted by: paula at September 10, 2003 04:23 PMah, collective passivity: the chosen fragrance of the bourgeois... they wear it so well but wonder aloud why their scent mixed with the "successful" stench of money coated with the blood of the innocent doesn't attract or is conducive to a life of bliss. they are freakin tiresome, just totally draining.
Posted by: paula at September 10, 2003 04:27 PMWas I too vague? This scene was supposed to be an analogy for Bush's war on Iraq. Sorry if I didn't make that clear enough.
Posted by: Jake at September 10, 2003 05:46 PMhmmm, maybe i should have explained my comments a little better....idiot home invader is bush and idiot friend/onlooker is the passive american public sector (bourgeois class or a part of the wannabees),according to your skit and how i grasped it, i could have included many other entities as well but invariably chose not to do so. okay, that aforementioned onlooker group being so self-involved and provincial and aloof are often obsessed with their "me" status, point blank - "i'm not getting laid or asked to be laid with the "right" type of people, i'm not producing MENSA gifted super-bionic children with mindalteringingly good looks , and i'm not receiving the so deserved astounding sum of money a year for the shitty and sell out work i produce." thus i was airing my disgust at the passivity/values of the onlooker group, i personally can't and won't roll like that. later..
Posted by: paula at September 11, 2003 02:30 PMI really like this. I'm going to put something similar on my blog...either write my own version or just post yours, but I'll provide a link to give you credit. (Last time I tried linking to you, the permalink didn't work, by the way).
Good work.
Posted by: Hylo Bates at September 12, 2003 01:36 AMHylo,
This script isn't mine, I just reprinted it from the Very Very Happy weblog. Give him the credit, not me.
Jake.
Posted by: Jake at September 12, 2003 08:17 AMPaula, you are a tool.
Posted by: JDC at September 14, 2003 12:58 PMLying Media Bastards is both a radio show and website. The show airs Mondays 2-4pm PST on KillRadio.org, and couples excellent music with angry news commentary. And the website, well, you're looking at it. Both projects focus on our media-marinated world, political lies, corporate tyranny, and the folks fighting the good fight against these monsters. All brought to you by Jake Sexton, The Most Beloved Man in America ®. contact: jake+at+lyingmediabastards.com |
Media News |
November 16, 2004Tales of Media WoeSenate May Ram Copyright Bill- one of the most depressing stories of the day that didn't involve death or bombs. It's the music and movie industries' wet dream. It criminalizes peer-to-peer software makers, allows the government to file civil lawsuits on behalf of these media industries, and eliminates fair use. Fair use is the idea that I can use a snippet of a copyrighted work for educational, political, or satirical purposes, without getting permission from the copyright-holder first. And most tellingly, the bill legalizes technology that would automatically skip over "obejctionable content" (i.e. sex and violence) in a DVD, but bans devices that would automatically skip over commericals. This is a blatant, blatant, blatant gift to the movie industry. Fuck the movie industry, fuck the music industry, fuck the Senate. Music industry aims to send in radio cops- the recording industry says that you're not allowed to record songs off the radio, be it real radio or internet radio. And now they're working on preventing you from recording songs off internet radio through a mixture of law and technological repression (although I imagine their techno-fixes will get hacked pretty quickly). The shocking truth about the FCC: Censorship by the tyranny of the few- blogger Jeff Jarvis discovers that the recent $1.2 million FCC fine against a sex scene in Fox's "Married By America" TV show was not levied because hundreds of people wrote the FCC and complained. It was not because 159 people wrote in and complained (which is the FCC's current rationale). No, thanks to Jarvis' FOIA request, we find that only 23 people (of the show's several million viewers) wrote in and complained. On top of that, he finds that 21 of those letters were just copy-and-paste email jobs that some people attached their names to. Jarvis then spins this a bit by saying that "only 3" people actually wrote letters to the FCC, which is misleading but technically true. So somewhere between 3 and 23 angry people can determine what you can't see on television. Good to know. Reuters Union Considers Striking Over Layoffs- will a strike by such a major newswire service impact the rest of the world's media? Pentagon Starts Work On War Internet- the US military is talking about the creation of a global, wireless, satellite-aided computer network for use in battle. I think I saw a movie about this once... Conservative host returns to the air after week suspension for using racial slur- Houston radio talk show host (and somtime Rush Limbaugh substitute) Mark Belling referred to Mexican-Americans as "wetbacks" on his show. He was suspended for a couple of weeks, and then submitted a written apology for the racial slur to a local newspaper. But he seems to be using the slur and its surrounding controversy to boost his conservative cred with his listeners. Stay Tuned for Nudes- Cleveland TV news anchor Sharon Reed aired a story about artist Spencer Tunick, who uses large numbers of naked volunteers in his installations and photographs. The news report will be unique in that it will not blur or black-out the usual naughty bits. The story will air late at night, when it's allegedly okay with the FCC if you broadcast "indecent" material. The author of this article doesn't seem to notice that Reed first claims that this report is a publicity stunt, but then claims it's a protest against FCC repression. I'd like to think it's the latter, but I'm not that much of a sucker. More Media News |
Quotes |
"It is useless to attempt to reason a man out of what he was never reasoned into." -Jonathan Swift |
Snapshots |
Several years of mild sleep deprivation and only one hallucination? That's pretty good. |