I saw this on someone else's blog. Sounds like fun, so I stole it:
"Invent a memory of me, and write it in the comments. It can be anything you want, and as ridiculous and silly as you want. The only stipulation is it must be completely false. Then post this onto your blog so people can create memories of you."
Have a ball. Post it in the comments, the wildest adventures we never had.
Hey Jake...it's your old buddy Felix. Just wanted to know if you remember that time we went down to Tijuana and got totally smashed on mescal? And when the bar closed, you insisted on driving the rental car even though you were like, totally out of it? And the hookers in the back seat kept pulling your hat down over your eyes? And we went off the road with tequila and beer sloshing all over the car and everyone was laughing and you hit that tree and the car exploded? And we all died?
Remember that? Oh, that's right....you were just in the hospital for awhile.
You bastard.
We were protesting in DC about the patriot act, when a white DC cop came up broke up our group, didnt see the camera, yelled "fucking tree-hugging liberal nigger lovers", beat the shit out of us, yelled Bush will live- the media actually played the video, and Bush resigned, Kerry dropped out and a worthy third candidate got the office?--memories
Posted by: Buddy/Brian at May 16, 2004 11:14 AMHey Jake. Remeber that time you and me got in that fucked up (no pun intended) situation with the nympho-pyro league? God that was crazy. I know neither of us could have guessed where that one bitch with the barbra walters hair was going to shove that lit torch. There had to have been some kind of fire resistant substance involved up there. To give the girls their credit though, they did get rid of my third thumb quite nicely, if not some what painfully. Anyway, just catching up with you. Keep putting the aloe on. Everything should heal alright.
Posted by: Alyssa at May 31, 2004 10:01 AMYour hearts are mighty, your skins are whole. martha It is not enough to help the feeble up, but to support him after.
Posted by: alex at December 1, 2004 12:00 AMConversation should be pleasant without scurrility, witty without affectation, free without indecency, learned without conceitedness, novel without falsehood. trevor Pity is the virture of the law, and none but tyrants use it cruelly.
Posted by: trevor at December 3, 2004 11:34 AMNothing emboldens sin so much as mercy. mike Sweet are the uses of adversity, which, like a toad, though ugly and venomous, wears yet a precious jewel in its head.
Posted by: mike at December 3, 2004 11:34 AMMisery acquaints a man with strange bedfellows. martha Leave her to heaven And to those thorns that in her bosom lodge, To prick and sting her.
Posted by: martha at December 3, 2004 11:34 AMAnd since you know you cannot see yourself, so well as by reflection, I, your glass, will modestly discover to yourself, that of yourself which you yet know not of. chuck Life is as tedious as a twice-told tale Vexing the dull ear of a drowsy man.
Posted by: chuck at December 3, 2004 11:34 AMLying Media Bastards is both a radio show and website. The show airs Mondays 2-4pm PST on KillRadio.org, and couples excellent music with angry news commentary. And the website, well, you're looking at it. Both projects focus on our media-marinated world, political lies, corporate tyranny, and the folks fighting the good fight against these monsters. All brought to you by Jake Sexton, The Most Beloved Man in America ®. contact: jake+at+lyingmediabastards.com |
Media News |
December 01, 2004Media MamboThe Great Indecency Hoax- last week, we wrote about how the "massive outcry" to the FCC about a racy Fox TV segment amounted to letters from 20 people. This week, we look at the newest media scandal, the infamous "naked back" commercial. On Monday Night Football, last week, ABC aired an ad for it's popular "Desperate Housewives" TV show, in which one of the actresses from the show attempted to seduce a football player by removing the towel she was wearing to bare her body to him. All the audience saw, however, was her back. No tits, no ass, no crotch, just her back. No one complained. The next Wednesday, Rush Limbaugh told his shocked viewers how the woman had appeard in the commercial "buck naked". Then, the FCC received 50,000 complaints. How many of them actually saw this commercial is anyone's guess. The article also shows the amazing statistics that although the Right is pretending that the "22% of Americans voted based on 'moral values'" statistic shows the return of the Moral Majority, this is actually a huge drop from the 35% who said that in the 2000 election or the 40% who said that in 1996 (when alleged pervert Bill Clinton was re-elected). This fact is so important I'm going to mention it over in the main news section too. Brian Williams may surprise America- Tom Brokaw's replacement anchor, Brian Williams, dismissed the impact of blogs by saying that bloggers are "on an equal footing with someone in a bathroom with a modem." Which is really funny, coming out of the mouth of a dude who's idea of journalism is to read words out loud off a teleprompter. Seriously, if parrots were literate, Brian Williams would be reporting live from the line outside the soup kitchen. In related news, Tom Brokaw has quit NBC Nightly News, and it appears that unlike his predecessor, the new guy can speak without slurring words like a drunk. PR Meets Psy-Ops in War on Terror- in February of 2002, Donald Rumsfeld announced the creation of the Office of Strategic Influence, a new department that would fight the war on terror through misinformation, especially by lying to journalists. Journalists were so up in arms about this that the Pentagon agreed to scrap the program. Don't you think that an agency designed to lie to the public might lie about being shut down, too? This article gives some examples about the US military lying to the press for propaganda and disinformation purposes. Tavis Smiley leaving NPR in December- African-American talk show host Tavis Smiley is opting to not renew his daily talk show on National Public Radio. He criticized his former employers for failing to: "meaningfully reach out to a broad spectrum of Americans who would benefit from public radio but simply don’t know it exists or what it offers ... In the most multicultural, multi-ethnic and multiracial America ever, I believe that NPR can and must do better in the future." He's 100% correct. NPR is white. Polar bear eating a marshmallow at the mayonaise factory white. And the reason it's so white is that it is trying to maintain an affluent listener base (premoniantly older white folks) who will donate money to their stations. This is a great paradox of American public broadcasting, that they have a mandate to express neglected viewpoints and serve marginalized communities, but those folks can't donate money in the amounts that the stations would like to see. U.S. Muslim Cable TV Channel Aims to Build Bridges- it sounds more positive than it is "Bridges TV" seems to simultaneously be a cable channel pursuing an affluent American Muslim demographic, and a way of building understanding and tolerance among American non-Muslims who might happen to watch the channel's programming. I was hoping it would be aimed more at Muslim's worldwide, but it ain't. Still, I'd be interested in seeing how their news programs cover the issues. Every Damned Weblog Post Ever- it's funny cuz it's true. Wikipedia Creators Move Into News- Wikipedia is a free online encyclopedia, created collectively by thousands of contributors. It's one of those non-profit, decentralized, collective, public projects that show how good the internet can be. Now, the Wikipedia founders are working on a similar project to create a collaborative news portal, with original content. Honestly, it's quite similar to IndyMedia sites (which reminds me, happy 5th birthday, IndyMedia!). I'll admit, I'm a bit skeptical about the Wikinews project, though. IndyMedia sites work because they're local, focused on certain lefty issues, and they're run by activists invested in their beliefs. I'm not sure what would drive Wikinews or how it would hang together. CBS, NBC ban church ad inviting gays- the United Church of Christ created a TV ad which touts the church's inclusion, even implying that they accept homosexuals into their congregation. Both CBS and NBC are refusing to air the ad. This is not too surprising, as many Americans are uncomfortable about homosexuality, and because TV networks are utter cowards. But CBS' explanation for the ban was odd: "Because this commercial touches on the exclusion of gay couples...and the fact that the executive branch has recently proposed a Constitutional amendment to define marriage as a union between a man and a woman, this spot is unacceptable for broadcast." Whoa, what? First of all, the ad does not mention marriage at all. Second, since when do positions opposite of the Executive Branch constitute "unacceptable"? This doesn't sound like "we're not airing this because it's controversial", this sounds like "we're afraid of what the President might say." More Media News |
Quotes |
"It is useless to attempt to reason a man out of what he was never reasoned into." -Jonathan Swift |
Snapshots |
Damn. That joke would have been much funnier if I'd said "apprentice" instead of "intern". |